I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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