is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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