there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize