how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Terrible idea I love it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
