What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
