what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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