TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
