So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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