i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You need Xanax blowdarts
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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