Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
