Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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