i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
