He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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