..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
