are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
