You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
