i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
