you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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