I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
