So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
