I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
