I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
