you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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