dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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