I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Randomize
