Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
