Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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