it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The best revenge is premature balding
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
