Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize