Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
