another moral hangover. fuck.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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