Duck Duck Cougar?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
