Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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