dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize