oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
