now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
