remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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