no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
