let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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