you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
