He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
