He uses pillows to masturbate.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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