my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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