so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
