i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
