Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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