I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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