i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
