if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
we should paint friendship bongs
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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