I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Mom said you looked used
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
