We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
please come you make the beer taste better
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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