It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
