Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
