who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just pee around me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
