You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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