also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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